We Need "to show solidarity with the large numbers of people who are suffering as a result of government cutbacks".
We also must raise protest "on behalf of those losing their jobs, seeing their public services undermined, their hopes for higher education jeopardised, or their fears realised through the creation of what increasingly seems like a less caring, more brutalised society, and where vast bonuses form the contemptuous retort to any mention of restraint, and the black economy of the super-tax dodger is seen as a legitimate moral code"
Who could the speaker of these words possibly be? Is it an irate Len McCluskey sounding another call to arms? Is it Ed Miliband changing his mind and finally deciding to reveal his true colours as 'Red Ed'; the monster from the wild and desolate hinterlands of the left that the Tory press always knew him to be?
Well no, not exactly- it is in fact the Bishop of Blackburn, the Rt Rev Nicholas Reade.
Look at him! Look at Nicholas Reade! He clearly has 'dangerous Radical' and 'Turbulent Priest' written all over him. The clerical collar gives him away. The Full article can be found here.
I am really of course, supportive of stories that show the Church concerned with the poor rather than gays or women for a change, though I am though intrigued by what is meant by 'christian protest', as if it is somehow objectively different from other protests.
Perhaps he does, after all people are already quite used to Christians standing in the street shouting random slogans at them or else handing out battered-looking leaflets- This being the case, maybe we do need to sharpen our approach when it comes to protest. After a quick brainstorm I've come up with some suggestions which I humbly submit for the Bishop:
1) Possibly something like this- though with a change of words? Perhaps we should chant James 5:1-6 antiphonally? Or for the more modern worshipper of course perhaps turn it into a new four chord song involving hand-raising and a frustratingly catchy chorus?
2) Why stick to forming a mere human chain when one can form a human Rosary?
3) In the spirit of the liturgical season, when challenged by police or store-owners, insist that you were led to this point by a star and can't really move on until 'something miraculous has happened'.
Of course, the best examples of biblical, and whilst there is of course the option of writing scathing letters or overturning money tables, I think they'll be expecting that sort of thing the crafty dodgers, so instead I offer 2 of my personal favourites-
4) Marry a prostitute- give birth to children and name them things like 'Fatally Compromised' or 'Forsaken by God' (Hosea 1)
5) Lie on your left side for 390 days without turning over and on your right for 40 days, eat only bread baked using cow manure as fuel, when this period is up take a sword and cut off your hair and beard- proceed then to burn 1/3 of it, scatter 1/3 of it to the wind and with the remaining third, walk around attacking it with the sword. (Ezekiel 4, 5)
Now if that doesn't show the authorities we mean business, I don't think we will ever get the message through to the authorities. I look forward to seeing the Bishop on the warpath in the new year.
Finally I would just like to wish anyone reading this a very Merry Christmas, I hope the day itself is particularly good and happy. I would offer best wishes for the New Year, but I'm not sure if I'll find something to say before then, so maybe, maybe a Happy New Year to you as well!
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